Raising a Child Prodigy!

Parenting! Ah, what a rewarding but complicated phenomenon. It requires the
best you have to give and demands more! It leaves very little room for catastrophic
mishaps and blunders, yet if done right it yields a distinguished legacy that
resonates well beyond your lifetime. Now imagine this parenting perspective with
the imbedded successes and failures - multiplied exponentially! This will give
you some idea of the tightrope walk facing parents of children regarded as
"exceptionally/profoundly gifted".

For the sake of this article I will employ the terms used most often to depict
children who seem to process information at warp speed; learn unlike most
children of the general population and bore easily in age-appropriate grade levels.
Personally, I hold different views on the subject; especially since I started
teaching my child at age 2 (no there were no cues from him) and there wasn't a
hint of "genius" in his former local school. But I digress!
"Exceptionally/profoundly gifted" it is - at least for the remainder of this piece.

On September 27, 2007 our son Stephen R. Stafford, II was accepted as a special
student into Morehouse College. He attended an Honors Algebra course on a trial
basis and received the highest average in the class. Because of his achievement,
he was profiled on a local news network entitled "The Whiz Kid' and featured in
several community newspapers. He started his own business tutoring high school
and college students and is currently designing websites for local businesses
including his own. Not bad for an 11 year-old!

Stephen, I've learned over the years, has a highly systemic mind. If there is a
pattern to be gleamed from the way potato chips are arranged in a bag, he'll spot it.
I am often astonished about how he tries to explain to his
mathematically-challenged mother the complexity of an advanced math problem
as if it's intuitively obvious; and if I didn't have a healthy dose of self-esteem and a
sense of perspective, I would feel like an idiot!

How ironic that I would be the mother of a math prodigy when personally, I could
be considered more of a "right-brained" specimen than "left". I have a propensity
toward subject matter where the answer isn't always right or wrong. I've raised
navigating life's issues through visualization to an art form and I get an energy
surge when I'm in the company of good, positive people. Opposite my husband and
son! They favor the investigation of "things" than anything related to human
emotion. So given that my son and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum, what
qualified me to teach and produce an 11 year-old, mathematics prodigy the likes
of which Morehouse College hasn't seen since the 1980's?

First of all, fortunately for me and perhaps contrary to popular opinion,
mathematics is among the easiest subjects to teach from elementary school on up
to the threshold of high school. The answer is either right or wrong - an academic
topic that is at its core - black or white with little to NO gray. There may be
different ways to arrive at the answer but in fact it is only ONE answer: Perfect for
a person who tends to be a little more random than the men in our family.

Faced with the charge of having to home-school our children, I was able to set the
stage for our son Stephen to soar in mathematics through consistency and
dedication; elements that sustained me during our home-schooling years. But
then, once his mind began to experience the monumental mental leaps and
bounds during what experts call the "critical periods", it became evident that I was
no longer qualified to teach him. It became one mental surge too many!

Critical periods are considered to be "windows of opportunity" whereas a child's
mind is so fluid that they are capable of grasping difficult concepts easily. If
proficient use of methods to teach a child to their potential is employed effectually
then the results are magnified. This is the basis for my differing opinion about the
idea of "inherent immutable giftedness" but again I digress!

When my son would experience these mental "growth spurts" there were definite
signs of it! His processing of directions and content explanations were even more
immediate and I couldn't give him the work fast enough. I also had to adjust the
curriculum more frequently than usual to introduce more advanced material. I
could keep up with these surges until he reached Algebra II at nine years of age!

Algebra II became my brick wall and it was at this point that Stephen decided that
he would try to teach me the subject matter. If we both hadn't adopted such a
humorous attitude about the situation, it really could have been construed as a
pathetic turn of events. Clearly there was nothing left for me to do but hand him
over to more capable instructors.

Since I do possess a college degree, it was kind of surreal when I realized that my
child had outgrown me academically yet still dressed up as Darth Vader for
Halloween. One cannot possibly imagine the mental contortioning that occurs
when your nine year-old can explain the concept of a particle accelerator one
minute then wants you to be a fight partner in a video game the next. Thank God
there was a support group!!

People generally are astonished when I express my belief that my husband and I
really haven't done anything miraculous in raising a child like Stephen. Perhaps
it's because we are African-American, I'm not sure, for there were other
mathematical prodigies of African origin long before our time. Then I notice
Asian-American communities and how they are able to produce so many
"Stephens". In fact they generate children deemed even more precocious at such
astounding rates. I'm reasonably certain that the brain of our Asian brethren isn't
any more complex than ours...aren't any bigger or made from any mutating DNA
structure. My belief, however, is that their general attitude towards education and
achievement is nurtured from birth - that it indeed becomes a lifestyle!

But just what is meant by an academic lifestyle?! I would say that it encompasses
our attitudes, pursuits, what dominates our conversations, the prevailing themes
of our favorite television sitcoms and movies, and just as important...the company
we keep!!

One cannot and should not under estimate the power of being in the company of
the people with vastly different outlooks. The thoughts and behaviors of others
living their lives diametrically opposite of your beliefs and value system can chip
away at what you're trying to build with your children; especially if the child is
exposed to the "influence" often.

For example, since the birth of our children, I've always been particular about with
whom my children and I associated; what images and dialog came into our home,
etc. Often I was successful in doing this and at times it was beyond my control
frankly because I am not their only parent or influence. Nevertheless - and I am
eternally grateful for this - majority of the time injurious influences were filtered.
Moreover, by the time the children were exposed to what was out there, they had
already developed a proclivity to denounce and in many cases reject the less
desirable because it was unfamiliar.

But many may say that a child can excel without having that kind of structure
and regiment. Perhaps! But let's assume for a moment that your child is somehow
able to transcend his/her iniquitous surroundings, grows up and becomes a
success. How many of us have witnessed plenty of professionals (athletes
included) fall prey to destructive vices because of questionable people and/or
behaviors in their lives that were tolerated, condoned or familiar? So far erring on
the side of caution and focusing energy on creating well-adjusted children has
proven quite successful. My hope is that they will become adults with a strong
moral code and a sense of integrity.

But back at the ranch, the subject of academics is like anything else; it's the level
of effort invested that determines your results. What I would recommend is to
study your child's way of learning, use positive reinforcement and be enthusiastic
when they do well. Purchase a $3.00 workbook that may make all the difference
between your child failing a subject or excelling in it. If they like to watch
television, have them watch shows with positive themes that are consistent with
your value system and for God's sakes watch with them!!

Use car rides to reinforce what they've learn in school as well as to discuss a
recent life event in which you can draw out a lesson; ask them their opinions
about different circumstances and brainstorm the outcomes. If you can relate a
story that drives home the lesson, do it! Make it a point to take trips to the
museum, bookstore, and pay a visit the local library.

A library card is free and your child can check out educational videos and use
the internet while he/she is there to see the world virtually. Buy a cheap dry erase
board and do the simple math first (be sure to make it fun) while working your way
up to the more complex stuff over time complete with plans to hand them over to
someone more capable when they are ready. These simple tips can help to stir up
enthusiasm for learning. Doing these things with diligent effort, enthusiasm and
consistency may serve to help in creating life-long learners.